Blow Gently
by ParisAmy
Summary: People say love is like a breeze, you can't see it, but you can feel it. But what if it blows away completely? ‘So I’m asking you Sawyer, if you have to go, blow away gently.’ Oneshot.


Blow Gently

It's funny. That's what she thinks to herself. It's funny, how people can pretend. How _she_ can pretend. She's been doing it her whole life, but now when it _really _matters -they have people to protect- she can't do it. She says she won't, but she will. It'll carry on, sometimes spiral out of control. Though one day she knows -and she's waiting for that day- her lies will catch up with her. _Their_ lies will catch up with them.

Her neighbour smiles. She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her neighbour smiles that smile that's full of sorrow and pity and she thinks she knows everything that she's going through; but she doesn't. Though Kate lets her believe it anyway. She has too, that's what they're _supposed _to do. So that's what she'll do.

Aaron holds her hand. He holds her hand loose and carefree. He smiles -_her_ smile- as he weaves through the gravestones that lay in a gated area for the Oceanic passengers. Aaron holds her hand and looks up at Kate, though she doesn't smile, her expression is blank; emotionless. These people were her friends; _are _her friends. She feels she's tied to so many of them -Sawyer, Claire, Jin? She said she would find him. She didn't. She looks around, some of the flowers have died since she last came -she comes often- sometimes she thinks she's the only one that comes; her and Aaron. After all, glancing round, she recognises every dead bouquet of flowers here.

His grave is in the far corner. There was a memorial for them -she never went- Jack said it was nice. She wonders what she could have said about him. Nothing -he died, she never knew him, only eight survived- he's not dead. His grave is in the far corner, it becomes clearer as she weaves her way through each gravestone -that's in her way!- that's placed around his. It's under a tree and she can't help but think he has the best spot. It's beautiful; the way the sunlight catches the tree and reflects onto the gravestone; half of it in darkness; half in the sunlight. Just like him, Sawyer was a sinner (the dark) James was a saint (the light).

She drops to her knees. Aaron looks over, smiling that same smile -it doesn't belong here- she wonders how he can see happiness in a place like this? He looks for approval and she nods in acceptance, watching him for a few seconds as he lays a flower on each grave. She drops to her knees and a sob nearly wracks her body -she wants them to so badly- she needs to cry, because she hasn't. She hasn't cried for him and deep down -although she knows he _isn't _dead- she feels she has too. Because she's lost him, if he's not by her side, then he's lost.

Aaron comes over. He's finished placing the flowers on each grave. She senses him approaching, tiny feet moving the earth around him. Aaron comes over and she places her arms around him and kisses the top of his head. He's all she's got. All she needs. All she wants?

She knows she has to let go -he's the past- she may never see him again, but people say love is like a breeze, you can't see it, but you can feel it. He will never be gone. For he keeps blowing softly, silently in the days when she thinks -she knows- she can feel him no more, and that's what's holding -keeping- her back from moving on. She's afraid. Scared. What if he blows away from her completely? She wants to feel him against her skin and through her hair. She wants it to blow wildly and uncontrollably. She wants to know he _isn't _giving up. So she won't move on, she can't, she needs him like Aaron needs her; to guide, to protect, to _love_.

_So I'm asking you Sawyer, if you have to go, blow away gently. _

"Mommy?…Why does the wind want to play with us?" Aaron gazes up, a serious look on his face.

"Don't you like it?"

"It's _too _windy" He exaggerates and she smiles- the first genuine smile since she's got here- as his eyes bulge and his gaze returns to her for the answer. To him she's the key to every lock. She holds all the answers to his every burning question.

"Well…" Kate kneels down to his height, her face mimicking his. "Why don't we ask it if it can blow gently?" She whispers the last sentence, as if it was a secret only the two could know about. He giggles at first, before nodding his head in agreement. "You ready?" She asks.

Another nod.

"Please Mr Wind…." Aaron begins, and then looks at Kate, she whispers in his ear. "…blow gently."


End file.
